Loaded up on pizza and Coca-Cola, the six grandchildren of Ray and Thelma Brussat laughed and squirmed in the back of my brother-in-law Jeff’s gold 1972 Ford Grand Torino station wagon during the thirty-minute drive back to our rented house on Pawleys Island, South Carolina. Ranging in age from four to ten, they all hoped their parents would allow them a quick swim before bedtime, but as we pulled into the driveway, Gardner – the oldest – let out a long, painful moan that turned our heads. He had left his prized army-surplus hat back at the pizzeria and was inconsolable. That very tattered hat – which he wore constantly – was basically his big-kid security blanket. Alarm spread immediately throughout the car with each cousin most likely relating to his or her own anxiety thinking about the horror of losing the very blanket or stuffed animal that helped them feel safe and secure. A distraught Gardner was assured by his mother Joan that she would go back to the restaurant immediately and would return with his hat. However, none of us was really confident she could deliver on that promise.

To everyone’s relief she did. After digging through the restaurant’s garbage cans, she finally found it – covered in tomato sauce and smelling like pizza. It didn’t matter – Gardner would have his beloved hat back and calm would be restored to the tense situation back at the house. Gardner’s hat story is one of those stories that has all the right elements – dismay, tension, anxiety and best of all, a happy ending – and because of that, it is often repeated at family gatherings.

Mom & Dad

Our story as a family begins of course with my parents, Ray and Thelma in Janesville, Wisconsin. I am the middle daughter of three; Joan the oldest and Karen the youngest. Like most kids in the Midwest at that time, our days were filled with everything from school activities to playing afternoon hopscotch to simply running around the neighborhood with the other kids on our block. Like everyone, we experienced the ubiquitous ups and downs inherent in all families.

Eventually the three of us left home for college, married and each had two children, thereby beginning the Brussat’s extended family. Joan was first when Gardner, was born. Karen followed soon-thereafter with Elizabeth, and I was next with Robby. Travis (Karen’s), Doug (Joan’s) and Candace (mine) followed and adhered to a rhythm of one new cousin each year until about six years after we started. At that point we each had a family of four and were ready to call it a day!

Nancy, Thelma, Ray, Joan and Karen

During those early years, my two sisters and I always made it a priority to get our families together whenever possible despite the challenges of raising them in different cities. It was our hope that our children – “the cousins” – become not just relatives, but friends.

However, getting together became increasingly difficult. Distance was a major factor since I lived in Chicago, my older sister Joan in Wichita, Kansas and my younger sister Karen in Connecticut, but we overcame that at least once a year when we all vacationed together at some agreed upon location; various lakes in Wisconsin and a few different beaches in South Carolina. Eventually the kids became too big to be thrown in the back of the station wagon at 4 am for the long drive to our selected vacation spot and as time went on, school, sports, camps and summer vacations began to make it impossible to find a date when everyone could get together, so these full-family reunions eluded us for a period of time.

Whitewater, WI – 1976

Then one afternoon in 1989 my daughter Candace approached me and my sister Karen and lamented not having seen her cousins together at the same time in many years, all of whom were now in college or had just graduated. She suggested that we try to organize a Brussat family reunion that would include everyone. At first Karen and I were dubious that we could make that happen since at that time, the cousins ranged in age from 18 to 24 and were spread out across the country. However, we decided to give it a try. Because Karen and Jeff were living nearby me in Chicago, we thought Chicago – right in the middle of the country – would be the ideal location to lure everyone for our first complete family gathering in years – that is, if they were at all interested.

We were delighted when everyone accepted our invitation, so 1989 marks the official beginning of what came to be known as “The Cousin’s Reunion.” Though my father had passed away two years prior, my mother was still alive and joined us enthusiastically that year.

Cousins in Port Townsend, WA – 1999

We began with a casual catch-up cocktail party on the porch at Karen and Jeff’s charming, cottage home in the Old Town neighborhood of Chicago. Dinner was delicious Jambalaya that concluded with two homemade cakes iced with a message that read “Welcome Cousins”.

Cousins at first reunion in Chicago – 1989

“Welcome Cousins”

Over the next few days, we did a lot of hanging out, took a fascinating architectural boat tour up the Chicago River and had a memorable dinner at the downtown location of my restaurant just off Chicago’s Magnificent Mile.

Architecture tour in Chicago River – 1999

The weekend concluded with a day at my home in suburban Glencoe. I served an al fresco lunch next to our swimming pool that was inspired by my many visits to the South of France. The highlight of the meal was an idea I brought back from one of my favorite restaurants near Cannes, Le Columbe D’Or. I filled a hand-woven basket with crudités: raw carrots, tomatoes, cucumbers, celery, radishes, small zucchini, scallions, endive, mushrooms and hard-cooked eggs. We each selected what we wanted and drizzled one of two vinaigrettes – sometimes both – over the ingredients. The crudités were accompanied with a selection of cheeses and cold meats along with grilled coarse country bread slathered with Boursin cheese. Totally simple. Totally delicious.

Crudité (with Jeff and I in background)

Anchovy Vinaigrette

½ cup extra virgin olive oil
1.4 cup red wine vinegar
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
Salt & freshly ground pepper to taste*
4 anchovy fillets
1 garlic clove
1 large shallots, peeled and cut into chucks

Combine oil, vinegar, mustard and anchovy fillets in a blender

Blend until mixture is creamy.

Add garlic and shallot and pulsate until minced

*be careful not to over-salt since the anchovies will bring that as well

Fresh Tomato Vinaigrette

2 medium, ripe red tomatoes quartered and seeded
1 shallot – peeled & finely minced
¼ cups minced fresh basil
2 tablespoons white balsamic vinegar
3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
Freshly ground pepper and salt to taste

Using a grater, grate the tomato slices with cut side down all the way to the skin and discard skin

Mix all the ingredients together

Taste for seasonings

Add more vinegar to taste

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Dinner that night was a grand seafood buffet featuring many of the regional Italian dishes I had discovered in my Italian travels. It was clear by the end of the weekend that this was a group that truly enjoyed eating – as well as simply being together – so it was everyone’s desire to make sure that we would all gather again, sooner rather than later. We all agreed on a timeline for future reunions to take place at intervals of no more than five years.

We also made other “official” decisions – most important was that the oldest cousin (Gardner) would be the organizer of the next reunion. It was time for the next generation to take the organizational reins! The cousin-in-charge would choose the location for the reunion, as well as arrange all other pertinent details. After Gardner, that responsibility would pass to the next oldest cousin (Elizabeth) and so on, until we ended with “baby cousin” Candace. We figured if we continued to pull off these get-togethers, we could start all over again. But that was a problem for another day!

To establish some formality to these hand-offs, my brother-in-law Jeff purchased a candlestick which all the cousins signed. It was to become a sort-of baton to pass to the next in line at the conclusion of each reunion.

Gardner lighting the candle – 1989

Another collective decision made by the cousins (late one night after a few drinks) was that each group of reunion participants were defined based on their relationship to the family. The original six cousins were Blood Cousins, while the significant others to those six were labeled Honorary Cousins. Any offspring of the original six were Second Generation Blood Cousins (SGBCs). After our mother’s passing, the three sisters became the official Matriarchs and Jeff the sole Patriarch of the family.

Amazingly, we did manage to stick to getting together every five-years, but just barely. In the beginning there were just too many major events that disrupted official reunion gatherings – graduations, new jobs, weddings and births. But since those actually brought us all together anyway, we credited them for keeping us connected even if we didn’t call them “official” reunions.

At the end of the first five years, oldest cousin Gardner had yet to plan a reunion, so Karen and Jeff helped him out by holding the 2nd “official” reunion at their home in Connecticut during the Christmas holiday. All cousins attended – and with many of their soon-to-become Honorary Cousins. Tessa, our first and only SGBC at the time, was also in attendance and was easily the most popular person in Connecticut that weekend with everyone demanding lap time from this adorable new addition to the family.

Storytelling began at our very first reunion and reminiscing about our past and all the colorful people in it, increased as time went on. Some of the earliest memories my sisters and I have of our parents are food memories that we enjoyed sharing with the rest of the family. Our father’s love of food was legendary. It was not just eating food that he loved, but everything about it: growing it, cooking it, canning it, and especially sharing it with his family and friends.

Many of those memories centered around our father’s garden. It was overflowing with all kinds of vegetables and fruits and provided our family with a myriad of produce from early spring all the way through late fall of every year I can remember. Each vegetable and fruit took their turn in the spotlight – lettuce peaking first in May followed by asparagus and strawberries and rhubarb. Then in the summer months a bonanza of produce would ripen – each item immediately making its way to our kitchen table: plump juicy tomatoes; cool, fresh cucumbers; crunchy green beans; giant zucchini; and sweet, delicate raspberries to name just a few. Some were sauteed, some canned and some we plucked right out of the garden and eaten raw.

Dad

Many decades later, Brussat family recipes continue to be a hit at our reunion gatherings and usually stimulate a discussion about the history of whatever dish was being served. My Dad’s tangy zucchini pickles are a perfect example. Before our 4th official reunion in Green Lake, Wisconsin, I canned a dozen jars of them in my Wilmette restaurant – of course using his recipe – then adhered a label of Grandpa’s Ray’s face (designed by sister Karen) to each jar and passed them out to all the adults at the reunion. Enjoying those pickles as we have over the years, always triggers stories about our parent’s marathon end-of-the-season canning sessions. Surrounded by mason jars, lids, rims and other canning equipment, they preserved an amazing selection of canned products – everything from raspberry preserves, grape jelly, stewed tomatoes, green beans to exotic gooseberry jam all eventually finding their way to the shelves of our bountiful basement fruit cellar.
Photo of zucchini pickle label designed by artist sister Karen

Ray Brussat’s Zucchini Pickles

2 pounds small, firm zucchini
2 medium onions
¼ cup sea salt
1-pint white vinegar
1 cup sugar
1 teaspoon each celery seed, mustard seed, turmeric
½ teaspoon dry mustard

Wash unpeeled zucchini

Slice onion into very thin slices

Place both in bowl and cover with water. Add salt. Let stand for 1 hour. Drain.

Place vinegar, sugar, celery seed, mustard seed, turmeric and dry mustard in a saucepan. Bring to a boil over medium heat. Pour over zucchini and onions. Let stand for 1 hour. Put all back into saucepan and bring to a boil. Simmer for 3 minutes. Pack in 3 hot sterilized pint jars and seal. Process in hot water bath.

Note: Can be stored in refrigerator without processing for 2 to 3 weeks.

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Over the years, that fruit cellar in the basement of our Janesville home had become a place of wonder to all the grandkids. Of course they recalled the cellar itself – the creaky stairs they had to descend to get there – setting a somewhat foreboding mood. Then at the bottom of those stairs they usually headed into Grandpa’s workshop, snapped on the hanging light bulb and observed the wall of never-before-seen tools. Around the corner they found Grandma’s black upright piano which invited them to “ping” any key they wanted without being shushed by their parents. There were also boxes piled high, shelves containing wooden trays hand painted (rosemaling) by Grandma, a slide projector and screen and a bunch of empty lawn chairs where each cousin would sit for one of Grandpa’s favorite activities – his slide show presentation of the latest family travels and sometimes even old images of their moms – Joan, Nancy and Karen – at various stages of growing up. Fascinating!

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Reunions are always a great time to share common memories and the six cousins had many. With the addition of spouses and new little babies over the years, our “extended family” (now consisting of 23 people at our last reunion) – makes for a very reliable story-generation-machine.
At our second reunion in Green Lake, Wisconsin hosted by my son Rob, we continued to honor our original matriarch and patriarch. The three sisters and Jeff cooked “A Wisconsin Memories Dinner” based on meals originally prepared by Ray and Thelma as well as some favorite Supper Club dishes that were very much a part of the three sisters’ and Jeff’s childhood growing up in Janesville. Our Memory Lane began auspiciously with our parent’s favorite cocktail – Manhattans – mixed to perfection by Jeff (as always).

One culinary constant has been Thelma’s deviled eggs. They make their appearance at almost every reunion as an appetizer or as a part of the meal and are always gobbled up as soon as they are placed on the table. We seem to never make enough. The Barocci/Brussat/Warner family also featured them as a part of our dinner theme “Thelma’s Classic American Picnic” at our last reunion in Colorado in 2022 when Doug was in charge.

In the beginning these reunions took place at various times of the year, but once the cousins became parents it became necessary to schedule the events in the summer months during school vacations. Most gatherings are five nights. The first night we always seem to order pizza from a local pizzeria allowing everyone a night to get organized and catch-up and gives the cousin-organizer time to stock up on kitchen supplies, beer and wine. Three nights are reserved for family cooking, and one is usually a restaurant night selected by the cousin-in-charge.
We have assembled 11 times officially over the past 33 years and have held gatherings in 10 different states – Illinois, Connecticut, Washington, Utah, Nevada, Michigan, California, Oregon, twice in Wisconsin and twice in Colorado. Eventually, it was decided that each sister and their family would be in charge of dinner for one night – selecting the menu, grocery shopping and cooking for the whole group. Family themes began to emerge for each sister’s assigned dinners reflecting each family’s interests, their own tastes and how ambitious they were willing to get.

Mays Grilling in Breckenridge, CO – 2022

Joan’s family – aka the Brussat-May-Cole contingent – does a lot of good old American grilling with meat as the centerpiece. Steak is frequently the choice, though chicken, sausage and sometimes salmon have made an appearance from time to time. Sometimes they also mix it up with a Mexican theme. At Travis’s Bend, Oregon reunion the Mays delicious Mexican Fiesta meal included a whole array of grilled meats and veggies to fill tacos, as well as beans and of course, a selection of spicy salsas. I loved the fact that one of the most popular dishes of the whole reunion was a Velveeta Cheese Queso Dip, (Velveeta often described as “not real cheese”). Sometimes sophisticated gourmet is not where it’s at!

Karen’s family – the Brussat-Butlers – likes to match their dinner theme to the location where the reunion was held. At Rob B’s Sheboygan, Wisconsin reunion their meal brought back the Supper Club theme, while at Doug’s Colorado reunion in Estes Park they made a Chuckwagon Dinner featuring all manner of cowboy fare with far-out names like Hop Along Hotdogs, He-Man Hamburgers and Boot Kicking Chili. And at Travis’s Oregon reunion their menu featured Northwest cuisine – Pacific Northwest Salmon being the star.

Most recently in Breckenridge, Colorado the Butler dinner was inspired by the First Nations in recognition of the original inhabitants of the area. The meal which they called “Spirit of the Mountains” began with Mountain High Manhattan’s and Freedom Old Fashioned mix by Travis, a cocktail expert and chip of the ole’ block (his Dad Jeff has always been my favorite mixologist!) The meal was anchored by pulled buffalo meat sliders and accompanied by a selection of wonderful salads Elizabeth discovered in a cookbook she found at The National Museum of the American Indian. We not only enjoyed a delicious meal but got an important history lesson as well.
One of the salads in that meal came from that cookbook and is called “The Three Sisters Salad”. The cookbook claims it to be named after three nearby volcanic peaks in the Cascade mountains called the Three Sisters, but Karen and I like to imagine the dish was actually a tribute to the three Brussat sisters who originally brought this whole amazing group together.

Three Sisters Salad
(Serves 4 – 6)

This recipe has been excerpted from the National Museum of the American Indian’s Mitsitam Cafe Cookbook
Think of the three sisters as the holy trinity of some indigenous cultures, a trifecta of agriculture sustainability. They are represented by corn, beans and squash and they’re an important facet of indigenous culture and foodways. A symbolic triad where beans are planted at the base of the corn stalks, the stalks offering the climbing bean vines support as they reach for the sunlight. The Beans in turn pump beneficial nitrogen back into the soil, fertilizing the corn and squash while the squash’s broad spiney leaves protect the bean plants from predatory animals

Apple Cider Vinaigrette
6 table apple cider vinegar
¼ cup honey
¾ cup canola oil (or we used olive oil)
salt & pepper to taste
For Salad
2 zucchinis, halved lengthwise and seeded
2 yellow summer squash, same as above
2 ears corn, husked
¼ cup oil
Salt and pepper to taste
2 cups cooked cranberry beans, drained
1 medium yellow tomato or ¾ cups yellow cherry tomatoes, diced
2 plum tomatoes (Roma) or ¾ red cherry tomatoes, diced

Prepare a hot fire in a charcoal grill or preheat a gas grill. Brush the zucchini squash and corn with oil.

Season vegetables with salt and pepper

Grill the zucchini and squash until crisp-tender and grill-marked on all sides, approximately 10 minutes

At the same time, grill the corn until lightly browned, turning to cook on all sides, approximately 5 minutes

Transfer zucchini and squash to a cutting board and finely dice, then empty into a large bowl

Cut the kernels from the corn and add to the bowl along with the beans and tomatoes

Add ¼ of vinaigrette and toss

Season with salt and pepper

Serve at room temperature

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My family’s dinners tend to feature Italian cuisine. We have adapted many recipes originally developed in my restaurant, including classic sauces like Bolognese (Emilia Romagna blog)and Amatriciana (Lazio I -Begin at the Beginning blog) and a hearty Tuscan White Bean Salad (Tuscany I – My Country Experience blog) that was a big hit. We also did our share of grilling, including a memorable dinner of Italian sausage and spicy broccolini inspired by the American-Italian food common in my son’s Brooklyn neighborhood. Usually our meals begin with an array of antipasti from salamis and cheese and marinated vegetables to crostini and breadsticks.

And then there were the dishes that defied any actual theme. Besides deviled eggs someone always cooks the ultimate comfort food, Mac and cheese. The recipe originated with Karen though at our last reunion Doug’s wife Tina took over the cooking duties (and wisely took Karen’s advice to “make a ton because everyone gobbles it up!”)

Old Fashioned Baked Macaroni and Cheese

8 oz (1/2 pkg.) elbow macaroni noodles
¼ cup butter
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1/8 teaspoon dry mustard
2 cups milk
2 – 3 cups (8-12 ounces) American cheese shredded from a block or cubed (like Land of Lakes)
1 cup breadcrumbs browned in butter in a fry pan

Preheat oven to 350 F

Cook noodles in boiling water for 3 minutes then drain

In a frying pan, melt the butter and slowly blend in the flour and mustard so its not lumpy

Cook until mixture is smooth and bubbly; gradually adding the milk

Cook & stir over medium heat until mixture begins to boil.  Reduce heat and simmer one minute, stirring constantly

Remove from the heat and gradually mix in the cheese

Return to heat and cook until cheese is melted (See how 3 cups of cheese looks and then add more if not cheesy enough. The trick is to have a lot of sauce, so the noodles end up nice and cheesy…if not the dish is too dry)

Add pasta gradually to the cheese mixture and stir. Be careful not to add too many noodles.

Pour into a casserole dish

Top with browned breadcrumbs (optional – lots of kids don’t like them)

Bake for 25 minutes or until cheese is bubbly and breadcrumbs are golden brown.

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The spouses of the cousins have become an essential part of the Brussat family’s culinary landscape. Not only do they enthusiastically participate in the preparation of their own family meal, but they have also introduced us to many of their own family traditions and recipes. Mandy could be counted on for a delicious vegetable or fruit salad or two, Angie enjoys baking and creative table setting, while Rob Warner loves to create dishes for breakfast or lunch using leftovers from each family’s theme meal (we always made too much) which he invariably dresses up with whatever spices or herbs he can get his hands on.  At an early reunion, Elizabeth’s wife Chris made a rice and egg dish with bacon, scallions and soy sauce that reflected the flavors of her Korean-Japanese heritage. It became so popular that it is requested for breakfast by everyone – especially the young cousins – at every reunion thereafter.

Chris’s Rice
(serves – hard to say when you have hungry little cousins)

2 cups cooked long grain white rice cooked al dente (day old is ideal, but if made day of let cool first, then use in this dish)
6-8 strips bacon fried in a fry an until crisp (Set aside and when cooled, crumble)
2 tablespoons soy sauce
½ cup scallions – green part sliced into thin rings.
Freshly ground pepper

In the skillet that you have cooked the bacon, drain most of the grease

Over medium heat, add the cooked rice and stir

Add the bacon and mix well

Add the soy and the green scallions

Stir fry until hot

Add freshly grated black pepper and serve.

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As a woman who grew up in the 40s and 50s, it has been fascinating to observe the changing roles of women and men in the kitchen. Though my mom did most of the everyday cooking and baking when we were growing up, my father was not averse to putting on an apron and helping which was uncommon back then. When grilling became fashionable in the 1950’s, my dad, of course, became the family “grill man”, but he had already established his culinary bona fides with his prodigious gardening skills and his canning ability even producing his own special pickle recipe. He was a man ahead of his times.

Angie baking @ 9000′

Each of the cousins and honorary cousins have carved out their own particular role in the kitchen. As the executive chef of Convito Cafe & Market and author or this decade-long food blog, I was perhaps the most accredited chef in a bunch of great cooks, but the reality is that we all learned from one another. I am always thrilled to share any of my own recipes or cooking knowledge with anyone who is interested, but I am even more excited to learn from the rest of the group. At this last get-together Doug shared some pithy and practical meat-seasoning advice (even gifting us all with a can of his favorite seasoning – Southern Flavor) as he grilled up a bevy of steaks. Angie imparted her hard-won lessons on high-altitude baking when she made cupcakes at 10,000 feet. And my son Rob reminded us that oysters shucking not only required skill but also some muscle!

Rob shucking oysters

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Besides our great diners, other traditions have been introduced through the years. Costume night is honored at every reunion and began auspiciously in 1999 at our third reunion hosted by Elizabeth in Port Townsend, Washington with her “Come as Your Mother” party. It was hilarious seeing what our kids thought of us when they showed up decked out in everything from hippie attire to fashions of the 70’s and 80’s. Karen’s and I wore fur stoles, small vintage hats with veils, and dress gloves in homage to our mothers “glamorous” era of the 30s ad early 40s. There were many laughs especially when Gardner and Doug brought down the house with their interpretation of their mother, Joan. She had served on the Wichita City Council for eight years and had successfully delivered many high-profile projects but also taken occasionally unpopular positions. As a public figure she would often find herself either celebrated or reviled in the local papers, but either way she was often caricatured. The trait most artists chose to inflate was her “big hair.” This inspired her sons to appear in huge blond wigs and fancy red clothing – her favorite color.

Gardner and Doug as their Mom Joan

Our costume nights have also included “Come as your 16-Year-Old-Self,” “Come as Your Favorite Artist,” and “Come as Your Favorite Movie Character.” Occasionally the dinners match the costume party like the May’s Cowboy Steak and Sausage meal in Breckenridge with their “Come as Your Favorite Western Character (dead or alive)” as well as the brat-and-sausage-heavy Brussat-Barocci-Warner dinner in Sheboygan, Wisconsin where we asked everyone to “Come as your Favorite German”. We served everything German from Schnitzel to Knack Wurst to Sauerkraut ending with my father’s favorite German Cheesecake.

Come As Your Favorite German night, Sheboygan, WI – 2016

Other fun activities were planned for each reunion. Mandy’s face painting was wildly popular with the little ones, as was Joan’s “Who’s That Baby?” photo contest where we tried to guess which baby photo matched which grown-up family member. The baby photo of now beautiful Tina got the most laughs and was named “Alien Baby.” At Trav’s Bend Oregon reunion he brought along a giant inflatable Unicorn that carried the clan up and down the Deschutes River.

Bend, OR – 2018

But the most popular activity is always Aunt Karen’s Art Project which began at our 4th Official Reunion when there were five very young second-generation cousins in attendance who needed to be entertained! In deference to the artistic skills of this group (some were still essentially babies) and inspired by our Green Lake, Wisconsin location, Karen brought poster-board cutouts of different shaped fish for the kids to color with crayons and watercolors. As they got older the projects became more sophisticated, though the jumping-off point of cut-outs thematically tied to the reunion location always remained. Karen immediately noticed that this project was beloved not just by the youngsters, but also the adults, because almost everyone participates.

My favorite was the Kingfisher project. For Candace’s reunion, we rented a house in Michigan. From Karen’s research (all the sister’s do extensive research in almost everything they do – our mother was a librarian) she discovered that Lake Michigan was the official home of the belted Kingfisher, so of course, our project was to make Kingfisher hats! They were so spectacular it inspired us to parade them on the road in front of our house the final night of our reunion – making quite a sight …and quite a ruckus.

South Haven, MI – 2012

Some activities were dictated by the location of our reunion. Fishing on Lake Michigan arranged by Jeff was a natural fit. Swimming was also a constant given the countless hours of entertainment for the kids it provided. During this past reunion in the mountains of Colorado, there were any number of mountain pursuits including mountain biking, gondola rides and just good old mountain hiking.

Jeff Fishing, South Haven, MI – 2012

Amazingly, our clan even has our own Coat of Arms thanks to Doug who created a family logo and has it stitched into baseball hats each year. The logo is in the form of a tree. The roots and the trunk represent Grandma and Grandpa Brussat, the three main branches represent each of the sisters each of which have two branches representing their kids. At our most recent reunion Doug tied these hats all the way back to the 70s when he quipped that they were as close as he could find to the worn in, faded, olive green army hat Gardner wore (and lost) at one of our first family vacations. He joked that he, however, refrained from replicating the pizza smell that was permanently embedded in the hat after retrieving it from the restaurant’s trash can.

Jeff & Tessa with original hats

Outside of our “official” gatherings, we have all made a point to keep in touch -whether in small or large groups. At the beginning of the pandemic, we even created a ‘cousin’s thread” where we communicated daily by text, posting all manner of photos hoping to infuse a little humor into our isolation; silly pet photos, dishes we were cooking for dinner that night and (our favorite) the evening’s cocktail! A. friendly competition was launched to see who could produce either the funniest or most artistic daily cocktail photo. At the conclusion of this isolation period, my sister Karen and I put together a book of all of our postings entitled The Cousin’s Covid Journal.

Like all families, ours is not exempt from tragedy like the sudden, accidental death of our first SGBC, adorable Tessa. At every reunion we light a candle in her memory and tell Tessa stories. Storytelling is a powerful way to heal and though tears are always shed during Tessa stories, we have eventually found a way to remember her with joy and optimism. The fact that she touched each and every one of us is evidence that her short time with us was not in vain.

This past reunion we honored the passing of my sister Joan with a Lazy Daisy cake, baked using the very same recipe that she used when she made this cake for her boy’s birthdays every year. Her sons Gardner and Doug baked it for honorary cousin Chris’ birthday which was the very last day of our reunion. It was accompanied by warm and happy memories of Joan and a request by many to add this delicious cake to our “must have” dishes at following reunions.

In this day and age of complicated, contentious family divisions, I feel very lucky to be a member of a family that truly enjoys one another’s company and is pretty much on the same page in most of life’s larger issues. With each passing reunion, our cousin’s canvas has become filled with a collection of old and new memories and because the whole group seems to love all those unforgettable meals, costume nights, art projects and crazy cousin activities – I think our official reunions will continue for some time to come. In 1989 no one was sure how long these get-togethers would last and if we would continue to enjoy one another, but this next reunion that baby Candace will organize will complete our second cycle and be our 12th Reunion. Ray and Thelma would be so pleased!

The Next Generation: Napa, CA – 2014